Why do we need therapy?
Often there is the preconceived notion that "therapy is for those who are crazy or ill." “I don’t need someone to sit and tell me my problems.” “I am not going to go to a shrink.”
As a therapist and a normal human being who experiences life problems, I can tell you that this is just how society has therapy labeled. It’s common for media to portray those with Mental illness or less than perfect lifestyles in a certain light. Americans are suppose to be strong, work hard, multi-task, and have no problems. If a problem occurs-don’t see a therapist just “be calm” and handle it yourself. It’s the answer of America to figure out our life independently and deal with stress through negative addiction patterns. It can be theorized that many Americans suffer from life's problems because of the culture. America has driven people to disastrous behaviors-shootings, suicide, abuse, molestation, and purely deviant behavior. People are not given the proper tools to cope with their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors rather they are judged or labeled.
It does not have to be depression, addiction, anxiety, or larger Mental Illness to see a therapist. A therapist can help listen and assist a person no matter how major or minor. If they are maladaptive i.e. interfering with your daily functioning-it’s worth talking about. If there are negative feelings or experiences from your childhood, psychoanalysis would be helpful to deal with repressed events that maybe projecting themselves out into your daily life.
Friends, spouses, and co-workers are excellent sources of support, but they are not Mental health professionals or doctors. It is fair to give clinicians the credit they deserve for their studies, experience, and dedication to the field. A skilled therapist promotes learning about oneself in depth, encourages identification of feelings and thoughts, identifies maladaptive patterns and how to cope. Most importantly, setting realistic goals and empowering the patient to make healthier choices and be accepting and loving towards themselves. Beauty has it's flaws that the rest of the world does not understand.
A friend, loved one, or co-worker has their own life experience that is valuable. A friend can give great advice that can solve a problem or make the pain go away. The key word is temporary. It's essential to take a magnifying glass to the behavior and while you may feel better-same type of behavior or problem will most likely resurface. Many times that "Everything is going to be okay" is what a person needs to hear, but the reality is that it's not always going to be okay. People cannot recycle problems through a friend of loved one rather they need to ask for "help."
"Help" is one of the most difficult words in the human language. People enjoy being perceived as smart, accomplished, independent, assertive, efficient, and the list goes on. These traits are related to "strength." Weaknesses are irresponsible, untimely, inefficient, impatient, controlling, moody, and selfish. It is difficult for any human being to name every weakness they have and a few reasons why it's a weakness. It takes time to learn and evaluate weaknesses and how to utilize the strengths and cope better with those weaknesses. Everyone needs "help" with their psychological being and those who are "perfect" probably have a long list of weaknesses worse than the average human being.
If we start with the human self, the human self was never created to be perfect. The “perfect” ideal does not meet the wide range of emotions that humans experience. In our current times, people have a variety of problems ranging from various addiction to Mental illness to stress to abuse to trauma to depression. And these problems are enhanced with negative environments, interpersonal relationships, or experiences. These environmental struggles can be consistently working against this person. Many develop incredible amounts of resilience and many can’t quite make it.
One should not feel discouraged feeling that “Therapy will never work because it won’t change their present situation.”
It will give you the tools to improve it and it’s important to remember that “Therapy is not about significant change rather it’s about improving your self and life one step at a time. The change that seem the smallest is the most significant.” Often, we put too much pressure on the word change, but it’s about breaking down the small stuff to reach a goal. Eventually the goals will be met with plenty of trial and error and responsibility for who you are and what you do.
Some people are just way too busy for therapy. The one hour per week does not fit in their schedule. Everyone could use someone in their life to discuss their feelings, needs, wants, desires, and hopes. Those secrets they want to confess to someone, the anger they feel with a spouse, the sadness with a loss, the irritation with rejection and unacceptance. Whether it’s a significant issue or something small, it’s always worth talking about because these small things that seem like nothing can grow overtime.
Most clients know from Day 1 whether they connect with their therapist and want to see them again. Instead of focusing on a therapy stigma, think about having your favorite ice cream and just wanting more and more. Think about the feeling meeting someone special or having that great first date. Or think about trying on shoes-sometimes the first pair fits great and other times it takes a few pairs. With an abundance of shoes, there is always the right pair ready and waiting for You.
When you have the right style, color, and size-you are all happy and content with your choice. It’s hopeful to find that great pair of shoes and find the right therapist. It takes an open mind, time, and patience.
You could have your best fit here!
How Do I Know It works?
The therapy process is a joint effort between client and therapist. Change is one of the hardest words in our vocabulary and it’s defined in many different ways.
In therapy, it is essential to have realistic goals. When one says they will stop verbally abusing their spouse after one day of therapy-this is not realistic. It’s up to the therapist and client to create small goals each session. Of course, it is trial and error because not everything is going to work. It will take time to work on your behavior and slowly see it grow. It is almost like a plant where that plant needs various things to grow-the right seed, soil, water, and sunshine. The human self needs love, attention, and extra care. The plant will not grow without its essential elements. It also won’t grow from a seed to a plant overnight. It takes time for the human behavior to change and it requires time, patience, and dedication to self- improvement.
One cannot expect the therapist to be the solution to all their problems. The therapist is there to guide you, listen, and encourage you week to week, give you mini-assignments, encourage you to believe in yourself, provide motivation and empowerment to tackle illness, address insecurities, build a happier marriage, cope with loss and sadness, and to handle stress/anxiety.
Therapy works when you see yourself slowly changing step by step and day by day. Sometimes it’s the smallest things, which the therapist has to point out to you. Things you might need a microscope to see, but that small change is significant. In my therapy, I teach you how to increase your awareness and measure it out.
*Behavioral modification is one of the best methods to address target behaviors because it allows you to self-monitor your own behavior and create realistic goals with your therapist.
Keep showing up, keep believing, keep motivated, keep committed, keep insight into behavior, and you will see the results.
Follow your purpose
Follow your heart
Light up your life
Do you work with Children?
Yes, I have worked with children and youth ranging from pre-school to high school. The types of issues include: Special needs(Autism, Mental Retardation), Behavioral problems, and Mental health. The experience is quite extensive working in the school, home, and In a office setting.
Throughout my career, I have learned a significant amount through working with children. They test and challenge you in ways that only a parent would know. While it was a learning experience with each client, group, or classroom-I had a strong desire to learn and this meant having "difficult" cases. Those cases that people would only have short term or they would quit-those were my kids. I know that children as well as adults have potential even when they are labeled as "problem child" or "terror."
For instance, a three year old with severe emotional disturbance who bit, screamed, hit, ate glue, stole, and attacked children/adults-this girl needed some serious Applied Behavior Analysis, but she also needed love and a therapist to believe in her abilities. She needs to be challenged and given effective methods and consistency. At the end of treatment, her mother, the teacher, and staff were improved with her progress and ability to more positively interact.
The family dynamic, school environment, relationship with teachers/mentors, and friendships-great influences to a child’s attitude, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If a child is acting out, there is a reason for it. When a child is labeled, it is most likely the label that is making them worse. When a child is labeled, they feel different than everyone else, they are the focus of the teacher, they are disciplined in front of everyone, and they feel less motivated to learn. If a teacher or parent is not going to acknowledge anything good about them-then what's the point? As I have learned, children respond to respect, positive praise, and meeting them where they are. Dictating and strict discipline are highly ineffective as proven in research.
Orphanages, international organizations, shelters, schools, clinics, homes, churches, and streets have served as the platform for my work with children. No matter what age or how angry, confused, lost, or tired they may be-I find a way to meet them where they are. Children may not have their basic needs met for food, shelter, and safety. They are also missing the love and support that they need. When I meet them, I try to get them active, learning their passions, their community supports, tasks at home, school and home behavior, and social skills. There are plenty of time and activities dedicated to children abroad who need love, attention, and caring.
Please feel free to contact me for any questions about behavior or therapy methods for a child.
What is Life Coaching?
Life coaching is a similar
yet different approach with focus on building on the positive to reach a purpose. It's the most inspirational and motivational techniques combined with a person's desire to work on their passions, strengths, talents abilities, and desires.
It’s purpose driven for people who feel like their life is mundane, it needs a new direction, life lacks a meaning, or your being has become lost or self-absorbed.
Also, sometimes a certain type of person has a trigger that leads to their purpose. Those who face a mid-life crisis, a life threatening event, medical illness,loss, or reach have an epiphany about their life.
It is these points in life where a person has lost direction, needs direction, or is reevaluating their direction. Being able to inspire and empower others is one my greatest pleasures. I hope that I can work with you through this life transition or desire for something greater than we know.
It can be done in a short 10 sessions or longer. It depends on the person and their individual case. Some people just need a motivational boost and some need extensive work to transition out of a problem into a purpose.
What is special about you?
It’s a belief of mine that a therapist is imperfect and so is the client. As a therapist, I am professional, kind, and encouraging. I have a significant amount of knowledge, but I do not act like someone “different” or “better.” There will be no feel of superiority rather you will feel like you are having a refreshing session
with someone you have known for more than just a session. I create a safe, confidential space for people to work through their problems.
The therapy style I give is tailored to the person and the type of therapy needed. It differs on a case to case basis and is clinically assessed through the first session and throughout therapy.
In therapy, Priscilla knows how to address topics with sensitivity empathy, caring, and kindness. Priscilla sets realistic goals for clients one session, one moment, or one day at a time. She believes her client can rise to the occasion to speak and challenge themselves to improve. Realistic homework with real life situations is assigned. Affirmations, positive self-statements, and journaling are encouraged. It takes time to improve behavior effectively and efficiently and no one should expect results overnight. It might be taught in America that everything has a quick fix, but not the self. It is fragile and should be handled with care. But a positive push or challenge to the individual brings empowerment, and strength to encourage behavioral change.
There is a special connection that is co-created in this space between myself and the client. It is the voice of the client that takes priority, it is the strengths of the client that should shine, and it’s the potential of the client that should grow.This safe environment that is built allows the client to honestly open up and project all their sadness, confusion, disappointment, anger, and unhappiness onto the therapist. The therapist and client work together to identify with these feelings, to let them be present and processed, and to choose what action or treatment method to take.
No matter if it’s a divorce, a prisoner just released and starting over, a woman battered and abused, a man facing addiction, a couple with a lost spark- Everything can be worked through in time and with patience.
Throughout my years, there has been numerous success stories, moments, and achievements. The client feedback has been beyond positive and incredibly touching.
People deserve a therapist who admit they are human and flawed. This can relate to the client and put them more at ease. Therapist may be on the internet too long, have road rage, be addicted to coffee, and the list goes on. A good therapist will not sit and talk about their flaws, but they will demonstrate empathy and be able to share a small piece of themselves.
When I was working in group therapy, I remember one of the therapists(not a great one) who would never answer a question and shared nothing about himself. As a therapist, we keep our boundaries, but we can share a couple things that aren't harmful. My clients give such excellent feedback because I am professional, have boundaries, consistency, creativity, and passion, but I'm a real person.
A real, qualified person with great experience and feedback.