Category: Loss

Your Christmas Spirit

12/27/2015

It's an observation that people have different levels of spirit depending on the place they choose to be during the Christmas season. Some people make the most of Christmas everywhere they go and some crave their home environment to fulfill their Christmas spirit. It's the memories of home and the conditioning of the home environment overtime that leaves an individual to feel the spirit of Christmas. The special ornaments from childhood, Mom's home cooking, laughing with cousins over silly things, eating Grandma's famous Christmas cookies, receiving that yearly sweater in a new color. It makes it feel like Christmas and makes the spirit at home.
A person relies on that comfort of Christmas each year, but what happens when your spirit isn't at home and it wonders elsewhere.

Those who have lost family members, experience Christmas outside a materialistic mindset, feel disconnection in spirit, and crave something outside of what they know. Those who feel that religion takes priority over the gifts and finds peace with the tru meaning of Christmas. The spirit of Christmas can be connected with the beauty of ritual, sacrifice, and giving spirit. The Christmas religious meaning celebrated in different cultures is what truly can make a spirit come alive. It's what can make a person come alive, open up their eyes to his beauty, feel authentic generosity rather than forced by culture, and to come closer to Christ.

It's to highlight that the Christmas spirit can come alive outside of home and repetition. A person may not feel like American culture is the home of their Christmas spirit. It may feel like something is missing not being out in a world where Christmas feels so alive. It does not discredit the beauty of religion anywhere, but it just acknowledges that a spirit can long for somewhere else. A spirit can feel empty without family and find their family in the world. Home can be where the spirit lies or perhaps one doesn't know how a spirit can flourish with a religious touch, new place, new people, and taking a risk to let the Lord in and learn cultures outside our own.

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Pray for Paris

11/17/2015

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COPYRIGHT: GOOGLE ALL PHOTOS PROPERTY OF VARIOUS OWNERS

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He's Got This

6/5/2015

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With the recent death of two beautiful women(friends that I was blessed to know), it is natural to go through the Kubler Ross stages of death(these are for those who are dying, but I find them applicable to grief and those passed away). While the denial has passed and anger is still working through, I mainly take a closer look at God. I direct all my questions and prayers to him-the feelings of confusion, sadness, and loss. How could he let something like this happen?

For the past few weeks, my thoughts have been circling around "Why the good people?'" It always happens to those people with the most positive things to say about them. It happens to those with illness or sudden tragedy, those well respected with loving families, and those who have accidents or unfortunate circumstance. It's a question that many Christians and people of all religions just can't understand, " Why Me?" "Why Her?" "Why Him" "Why Them?" Sometimes it is the "Why" that has an open ended response that can lead in different directions.

We Hear the Response They are in a Better Place.....
This is the response that is complex and misunderstood for me and possibly others. What was wrong with the place they were in now if they were doing good here with us. The better place is a beautiful one, but what leads God to think they are ready for that place. Can't they just stay a little bit longer in this place with their presence shining and positively impacting those on the planet that God created. He wants us to be civil, obeying, and serving human beings. Being sure on one lifestyle that was dedicated to serving and giving. What higher purpose is she going to serve when she already is serving with those who need her?  People who are living according to God should be given appropriate time to live out their serving commitment and lifetime.

"There time is up..."
Timing is everything in our lives and at any given second it could be our time. That is the wake up call we receive when a friend or relative or co-worker die, "That could have been me." This is absolutely something I believe in and connects with the "better place." God does have his own plan and knows when one's time is up, but I'm sure many would disagree with his timeline. It is many conversations with God to get to the acceptance that it is your time do die-if the choice was there in the first place. Time being up for those who don't even see it coming-it's not fair to take away the processing, self-reflecting, and preparing for death. These two beautiful women had no chance to prepare for their time in their separate deaths. "Time is Up." Move on from your past life and start a new one Or be involved in the lives of others in spirit and in distant love and affection. Still it feels unjust  when someone with so much potential doesn't have a chance to maximize it on this earth. It just moves them to a "better place," which one must have faith is true.

What is My Hypothesis?
While I should turn to the bible for answers, I just think based off my own experience, theories, beliefs, ideas, and religious background. It is my belief that this "better place" involves a higher assignment. If these women with such great qualities, families, friends, work ethic, kindness, and giving qualities are taken from this earth. They will utilize those same qualities in another place. Those who are lost, confused, misguided, oppressed -they are still learning about themselves, their experiences and their place in the world. Those who have identified a passion and share it with the world while being an incredible person-God is recruiting those people to be on his team.

It's still something that most people will not fully understand and I don't either, but it's something to help clear my mind and heart from the hurt I am feeling with this loss. Also, the families, friends, and loved ones who are asking "Why?" over and over and over again in their heads. There is not just one "answer," but there is some religious reasoning behind it. and this is where "You Got This" comes in.

When one has questions about death, the best place to turn is the bible.  As mentioned, that is not often where I turn rather experiential learning comes to my mind. I decided to ask my  friend from church who always has an belief or thought when it comes to religion. He also experienced a few deaths all back to back and it was difficult to get through, but eventually moved to the acceptance phase. He thought about "Why" this happened and he felt relief and a sense of security knowing that God was in control of their lives now and he was going to take care of them. "God- You Got this." It's liberating to let go and accept that they are in that "better place." Any place closer to God is a better place because they are in the presence of the most beautiful existence.

Death is an awful tragedy and rarely do people just go straight to the stage five of "Acceptance" because they are meant to go through them all: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.. It's beneficial to go through those stages learn about yourself, how to cope, ask questions, going over the "if" and the "why", and then finding a peace and level of acceptance. This happened for a reason outside of your control and the best part is that "You Don't have to worry about Jill" because "God's got this." When the acceptance is reached, a person doesn't have to worry and wonder because "God's Got This." He will take care of the loved one above and he will guide you in the right direction when you believe. It's important to remember that blessings can come from tragedy. The person will never ever be forgotten, but they can release that worry knowing that
                             "God's Got This."

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Keep It Moving

6/2/2015

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Last week I received a mysterious phone call from a California number. I thought it would be my friends from California or perhaps a group I was trying to contact about speaking. Who was it? Of course I had to feed my curiosity.

I answered the phone and I heard silence and then I heard his voice. The voice that distracted me for years. The voice that made my heart skip a beat. The voice that made me Feel love and hate at the same time. This man lifted up my spirits and tainted them just as quickly. He was back in the states after being gone for three years. Of course I had to be that supportive therapist as he had experienced difficulties including his mom passing away. I couldn't just be the rude person who hung up the phone rather I had to just listen and encourage as I would normally do. He said his standard lines-missing you, happy to hear your voice, and I will call you soon. Translation: currently scrolling to my next contact, have no interest in your voice, and I will call you again when I need something.  While I do not like to dedicate anymore time to this man, I do like to draw theory from the events that do take place.

When I got off the phone, I could've been the girl with the butterflies in her stomach so happy and content with him being back and potential of us getting back together and me moving to New York. Instead it was feeling, letting it pass, and reflecting.  I had felt angry and confused, why now? How dare he try to step on my self growth and career path. It's much easier with him being out of the country, but now temptation hits the states.
After some analysis and reflection with my higher power, I identified with this time and times before- I paced around feeling a mixed state of confusion and empowerment.   Our tests can take us different directions, but many of them are moving us towards personal growth as a human being. It's about resisting temptation and focusing on the self rather than another's, staying on your path rather than being distracted, empowering yourself with your accomplishments, and anticipating greatness in the future. Instead of projecting our blame onto others-we can accept the blame for our individual selves. "How could she just fire me?" "How can I finish this project with no computer?" "She is constantly talking down to me every time I see her-who does she think she is?"

These life tests and challenges repeat themselves when you least expect it. Each time we release the blame and understand that it's a test and it's our time to demonstrate strength, courage, and resilience.   The woman who talks down to you is going to keep showing up, some kind of problem at work is going to keep showing up, and the technology will always have a break down because reminder-it is NOT human. When we don't give in, it's our test that will be challenged independently. It's important to understand that it's not about the person, problem, or moment rather it's all about "You." The negative can feel like it's taking over, but the positive is on the way with patience and a bit of self-awareness. When a person has poor insight into feelings, thoughts, and behavior- this is difficult to differentiate between a "test" and a standard "choice." While the choice is there for everyone, the self reflection is essential.   Opposition comes our way and we can choose to respond or keep moving. Tests can come when we are doing our best to challenge us to make the right decision. People are constantly encountering tests with drugs, alcohol, negative relationships, bad work environments, and events that produce the in preferred set of feelings.

When you keep it moving- let yourself happily move along. You shift to empowerment, which shifts to deeper "success" within yourself. Each test will get easier and easier like losing weight- shedding the pounds leading to a healthier life emotionally, Mentally, and even physically as addiction and self-destructive behavior can stand in your way.

Keep it moving friends and good things shall happen. Stand tall and know how much you are worth and how that incident holds great importance in growth and should not take over your thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

PCR

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Your Christmas Spirit

Pray for Paris

COPYRIGHT: GOOGLE ALL PHOTOS PROPERTY OF VARIOUS OWNERS

He's Got This

Keep It Moving

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