After returning from my trip in April, the beauty of the ones I cared for had seen better days. When I come back from a mission trip, I usually think of a special person I want to share my trip with-the spiritual moments, the human moments, and moments of pure joy. This was a friendship with someone truly supportive and a friend who was always cheering me on from close and afar. She was a great mother, a wonderful sister, and a good friend to everyone that needed one. Those days abroad I missed her and couldn’t wait for us to reunite.
When I returned, I called her phone a few times and I kept getting a busy signal. When we know something could potentially be wrong, our defense mechanism of denial comes standing tall. It was a week later that I called a mutual friend of ours and received the news that she was….gone. She passed away in January and I never even got the chance to say “Goodbye” and I her death was never disclosed. She was just gone out of my life and taken away all the good she was doing. When we don’t have closure-that puts us in between a rock and a hard place. While I would normally see her before leaving, it was Christmas times and our schedules just couldn’t work it out.
As if this was not hard enough, the shocking news of a great friend from Chicago passed away. It’s a common statement that “She was too young.” Everyone is too young to die, but when someone the same age as you leaves-its sadness and introspection at the same time.
“How could this happen to her? This could have been me. This really did not happen to her? She’s the coolest, nicest, and most caring person?”
A person can rationalize it with the “if’s, ands, or buts” the “shoulds” “woulds” or “coulds,” but none of it will bring that person back to you. You never think that your last phone call would be the last conversation. Even though you can’t meet up, you have time. It’s not the case for the real world. Another person and another lost goodbye just being left with vivid memories that feel like it was just yesterday. When you have some of the best times with someone, it makes it easier to keep the spirit living on. Dancing the night away, having long conversations about our 20s life and loves, passions confessed and fulfilled overtime. She brought such joy to the lives of others with a selfless manner. When anyone was having a problem, she was the first one to be there. While we were all a big family of friends, she had a motherly instinct that clearly had potential to blossom into her own real family. A caring heart, a loving heart, and a heart that smiles from the inside. As my Mom always said, “She’s a doll” with her beautiful hair, her charm, and stunning blue eyes. It’s hard to forget someone beautiful from the inside and the out. She was cherished and adored by family, friends, her significant other, her co-workers, and now she is being cherished up above.
Both these friends stay with me in prayer, in spirit, and they will never be forgotten yet remembered for the incredible women who had a special place destined within my life. We can’t dismiss people because there physical presence is gone because the spirit still exists. We can’t physically reach out and touch them, but memories and moments bring the spirit back alive. It is spirit that can keep a person’s memory alive. It is a positive memory that can save us from misery. It is a belief in something greater than ourselves. It’s a reasoning that can’t be questioned and analyzed rather it just needs acceptance. Acceptance brings us closer to spirit and gives a chance at holding on to our friendship.
These women are “gone” in a physical sense, but they are not “gone” from the hearts of others. As the saying goes, “There is a power in numbers. There is a power in the number of people who keep them in memory, in spirit, and in heart. The sky may be full of clouds for a while, but eventually the sun will shine bright. The sun that is shining down are the rays of light that are coming from the death of beauty. A time for prayer, a time of acknowledgement, and an acceptance of the devastating loss. It’s unfair, unjust, cruel, unusual, and unkind, but we can still remember. Remember their contribution to this world and the mark they left in it.
They are staring down asking you to smile with them because that spiritual exchange is the hopeful thing that is left.
When I returned, I called her phone a few times and I kept getting a busy signal. When we know something could potentially be wrong, our defense mechanism of denial comes standing tall. It was a week later that I called a mutual friend of ours and received the news that she was….gone. She passed away in January and I never even got the chance to say “Goodbye” and I her death was never disclosed. She was just gone out of my life and taken away all the good she was doing. When we don’t have closure-that puts us in between a rock and a hard place. While I would normally see her before leaving, it was Christmas times and our schedules just couldn’t work it out.
As if this was not hard enough, the shocking news of a great friend from Chicago passed away. It’s a common statement that “She was too young.” Everyone is too young to die, but when someone the same age as you leaves-its sadness and introspection at the same time.
“How could this happen to her? This could have been me. This really did not happen to her? She’s the coolest, nicest, and most caring person?”
A person can rationalize it with the “if’s, ands, or buts” the “shoulds” “woulds” or “coulds,” but none of it will bring that person back to you. You never think that your last phone call would be the last conversation. Even though you can’t meet up, you have time. It’s not the case for the real world. Another person and another lost goodbye just being left with vivid memories that feel like it was just yesterday. When you have some of the best times with someone, it makes it easier to keep the spirit living on. Dancing the night away, having long conversations about our 20s life and loves, passions confessed and fulfilled overtime. She brought such joy to the lives of others with a selfless manner. When anyone was having a problem, she was the first one to be there. While we were all a big family of friends, she had a motherly instinct that clearly had potential to blossom into her own real family. A caring heart, a loving heart, and a heart that smiles from the inside. As my Mom always said, “She’s a doll” with her beautiful hair, her charm, and stunning blue eyes. It’s hard to forget someone beautiful from the inside and the out. She was cherished and adored by family, friends, her significant other, her co-workers, and now she is being cherished up above.
Both these friends stay with me in prayer, in spirit, and they will never be forgotten yet remembered for the incredible women who had a special place destined within my life. We can’t dismiss people because there physical presence is gone because the spirit still exists. We can’t physically reach out and touch them, but memories and moments bring the spirit back alive. It is spirit that can keep a person’s memory alive. It is a positive memory that can save us from misery. It is a belief in something greater than ourselves. It’s a reasoning that can’t be questioned and analyzed rather it just needs acceptance. Acceptance brings us closer to spirit and gives a chance at holding on to our friendship.
These women are “gone” in a physical sense, but they are not “gone” from the hearts of others. As the saying goes, “There is a power in numbers. There is a power in the number of people who keep them in memory, in spirit, and in heart. The sky may be full of clouds for a while, but eventually the sun will shine bright. The sun that is shining down are the rays of light that are coming from the death of beauty. A time for prayer, a time of acknowledgement, and an acceptance of the devastating loss. It’s unfair, unjust, cruel, unusual, and unkind, but we can still remember. Remember their contribution to this world and the mark they left in it.
They are staring down asking you to smile with them because that spiritual exchange is the hopeful thing that is left.
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