PRISCILLA CL RAJ
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Does Your Voice Have Value?

8/30/2015

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We are blessed. We are blessed with the ability to speak with our friends, families, co-workers about various topics i.e. relationships, technology, shopping, food, sports, fashion, travel, art etc. We share our opinions, our concerns, our doubts, our excitement, our passion, disappointment, achievements. They respond with appropriate non-verbal language-smiling, nodding, and open body language or a variety of negative responses-partially listening, pure distracted, bored, tired, repetitive stories of subject, lack of interest, intellectually not following, dislike the topic, waiting their turn to speak, and....just hearing words.  

There are so many interactions that happen in a day and unless everyone is a therapist what motivates them to listen to it all? People pick and choose what they want to listen and react to and question/analyze. A thought or belief is triggered, a feeling is felt when we say something with confidence, when we are enthusiastic, when we challenge a belief, when we share a story, when we share....our voice....

Within our inner circle, people may become accustomed to a certain type of person. We get comfortable and stay in convenient social situations and work environments. We listen to our boss out of pure obligation. We listen to a friend out of obligation to friendship and being a good friend.  Underneath the exterior and touching on the interior, there is a voice. For instance, Dana friendly, humorous, a good mother, a yoga lover, and the one who agrees with everyone. It's common for Dana to have her normal discussions about her routine and fun hobbies, but when she speaks about politics.  She does just that-speaking with people partially listening or joking.  Dana is also involved in a verbally abusive relationship controlled by her husband who is rarely even home. She mentions how many women have common problems and wants to start a group, but they focus on the exterior-a rich good looking man. Dana insincerely agrees, but inside Dana has a voice that she is not being utilized.

Dana is speaking, but no one is hearing her voice.....

Our voice is something that is found deep inside of us and it has a tone, a message, a type of delivery to leave an impact on another human being. Our voice is often hindered by those speaking around us. If Dana confidently discussed her marriage group, shared the idea, and gave it credibility. Her friends may respond differently or ask questions to learn more. Her voice could come alive rather than be hidden within a "fun, great, fortunate" life.   Instead of just being a housewife with a great life-she would have a voice to help women speak up about their marriage problems. 

Other situations: a wife can truly speak up about how she feels rather than living in the same routine not pursuing her dream to be a teacher.

A homosexual man is constantly hiding his real sexuality and he has a voice to speak up and come out proud

A boy is constantly being told to play sports, but he has a passion for music. He has a voice to speak up about his interests, talents ,and abilities.

A woman of domestic violence is silenced for years. She has a voice of value to share her story with others.

Our voice can have value with a strong tone and meaning within our voice. That is where the tone of our voice comes in with true importance. When you speak and act in a passive manner-the voice may not be delivered properly. When you speak with inner confidence, enthusiasm, passion, heart, and purpose-this inner voice shines and it has value. It gives your own voice value and it is valued by others. Perhaps, Dana will now speak about her marriage in depth rather than superficially. She may teach her friends about the common marriage myths or the noticeable changes in behavior. 

Everyone has learning experiences that contribute to our personal growth and our own story. Our story, our purpose, and passion presents the opportunity to share our voice. How it impacted us? What it meant to us? How to cope with it? How to find a solution? How to fight for a cause? The voice can educate, but it can also create a tremendous amount of hope, empowerment, and strength. People will try to silence your voice, but your voice has value. Even with opposition, keep speaking and allow the voice to breathe, share, and express your true self.  

   It's your time to Let Your Voice Have It's Earned Value PCR 

                A voice....Bold, but not Overconfident 
                Assertive, but not Controlling
                Insightful, but not Brilliant 
                Humble, but not Arrogant 
                Elevated, but not Loud  
                PCR  
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It's My Birthday And.....

8/17/2015

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There is the song, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you."

Perhaps I'm too old to be crying and tantruming on my birthday, but I'm not too old to be a diva one day out of the year....maybe more than one day.And it's my party and I'll take as many photos as I want to:)
There was no crying just a lot of praying and thankfulness for being alive.  It's only our birthday once per year and it's a big celebration besides those great life moments big and small throughout the year. 
It was disappointing not being out of the country as that has been a birthday ritual, but we can't have it all. Take a step back and have a nice time in your own city with your Mom, ministry friends, and your church-that is just as beautiful. The weekend celebration started Friday with the "Happy Birthdays" and wishes coming my way.  It was nice having Monday to not be running around, but to relax, eat, enjoy the stunning Chicago views, and to make it until 9pm with no rain!
It was suppose to rain all day Monday, but at 9pm torrential downpour came. It held out all day....for me;) 

Plan to spend the day with my Mom staying downtown at the Intercontinental Magnificent Mile. 2 bedroom corner suite with 8 windows overlooking Michigan avenue, the Chicago River, and the City lights.

Afternoon Tea at The Peninsula Chicago  and Beach Time  

Dinner at Eno with Wine, cheese, and chocolate




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Stay at The Intercontinental Chicago Magnificent Mile

Afternoon tea @
The Peninsula Chicago

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Nice walk near Ohio Beach

Eno

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Fantastic Salted Caramel chocolates for desert!

                 PRISCILLA

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Indian Independence Day!

8/16/2015

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Indian Independence day(celebrating the nation's independence from the British Empire on 15 of August 1947) is quite a  day for my fellow Indians with lots of cultural festivities.

Our ministry of Indian Christian Children, Youth, and Families had our own float for the Devon Avenue Indian Independence parade. Devon Avenue is the "Little India" of Chicago kind of like the Taylor Street for "Little Italy."

Arriving early, I was on the hunt for our float #17 walking back and forth next to 25 floats. It was a mystery as to the location of our float and I sat watching everyone set up their sound system and decorations. After a search for the driver, we located our float just in time for festivities.
We had our usual Indian families(parents of kids and youth), family members, Pastors, and the R and R Ministry leaders(superman and superwoman).

It was quite interesting trying to get Indians to all sit on the float in a timely manner. Let's just say that Indians, especially those who are older, can move a bit slower and are slow on the listening.  Unfortunately, our driver was not very patient or culturally competent for that matter. When he was ready to move, he was ready to move with people on or off the float. It was entertaining for the youth trying to run and catch up, but not the safest as well as the space on the float...There was barely space for a child to sit down. It was authentic with the crowded float and the 95 degree weather. I just so happened to be running around the float taking floats, keeping banners up, adjusting speakers-I'm just fine the heat doesn't bother Priscilla.

After the event, I had mild raccoon eyes and felt ill from simply drinking a hot bottle of Smart water. 

Although, important to Praise the Lord for the weather because it was planned to rain!

The kids enjoyed themselves, but the heat did get to a lot of people and our float was more the religious one with prayer and singing. The one behind us(also associated with the ministry) had the Bollywood music and Indians dancing with their traditional outfits and big smiles.  Of course, the youth wanted to have some fun coming out on a early Saturday morning-so that is what we did! We were all dancing with the spectators smiling and envying our fun time.
​
The Pastors are so beautiful in this ministry-it can just be witnessed for believers who appreciate the true dedication that people have to Christ.  
It was a successful event full of love, joy, peace, and hope. It's was a time to Pray for India, to Pray for our country, but also pray for the success of businesses in Little India.

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One of the most beautiful Pastor's and people I have ever met.
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Let's Celebrate Bollywood Style!

8/16/2015

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One of my favorite girls:)
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Our amazing band at Willow
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Bollywood Dancing and Lots of Smiles. It makes it all worth it:)
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Sample of the adorable kids
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My Youth from my Ministry Indian Christian Children Chicago!
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It's Easy to Explain Section 102F Events at Willow.

1.) Lots of People
2.) Lots of Food
3.) Lots of Entertainment

Oh and yes this is a church, but Indian Independence is a definite day to Celebrate.
A time to celebrate with 1800 people!!!! One could imagine how busy that is for all our volunteers and with it being summer we did not have as many people as usual.
These big events at church consist of me running around doing ten different things and I see people for a few minutes and am lucky if I see them again before the event ends. I have no complaints as I enjoy running around and doing my best for my fellow Indians. It's always so heart warming to smile and connect with them, shake hands, give hugs, and give genuine acknowledgement between beings. It's great seeing familiar faces and learning about what they have been up to as well as their church attendance. Not everyone attends the big massive church because they prefer their own temples or smaller, more intimate churches-can't say I blame them. Willow Creek is great, but their level of commercial and constantly becoming "bigger and better" is a whole other post-reminds me to do that....

While we usually have the Bollywood dancing, the spiritual messages from our Indian-Christian leaders-our leader of the event decided to do something fun with the kids. Usually they have face painting, clowns, and bouncy houses. This time they had their own fashion show for their adorable outfits. Seriously, the kids look absolutely adorable at these events and why not give an award for the cutest kid? I ended up being the Pagent girl to prepare the kids for their runway appearance. It' like the Runway with their pep talk before they head out, "Smile, look at the cameras, turn, dance, twirl." 
There literally were a dozen cameras in front of the stage and even two year olds were confidently coming out on their own. Oh what those cameras can do! 
My friend had to be the one to decide and she approached me when I got off stage, "How can I decide, Priscilla?" "It' not fair."
Well, life isn't fair and most kids just loved the attention and if they actually could comprehend not winning-it's a learning lesson:)

Fun event, good food(Sambar and rice cakes and the sweet yellow stuff).
Wow I definitely know my Indian food right?:)
It's always great seeing my Willow friends who I adore. Next time I hope there is less people, less stress, and the mood level down a notch.
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Toto and YES Concert

8/16/2015

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From the Huffington Post
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PictureMy Mom(White) and Renee(Pink)
As my crazy blogger friend says, posts are not good without photos. That is true to an extent, but in my opinion the less photos, the better. It takes away from the experience when you are constantly taking photos or video. When I went to Taylor Swift, it was the first time I took video at a concert in a long time.

There is nothing better than the live performance-it's better just to keep that memory matched up with your singing voice:)

This concert was meant for my Mom and her two friends, but one canceled and an extra ticket was offered. I had no plans and the weather was gorgeous to go to an outdoor venue-why not?

In fact, I looked up this venue before I went and when I saw it. I started getting myself ready to go. It views the whole skyline of Chicago, sits right on the water, and it's a small, comfortable venue.

While I only knew a few songs from each artist-they were good songs! But with older bands, things change, member quit/pass away, the voice is still amazing or it should be retired. "Toto"-I enjoyed.  "Yes"  had incredible musicians-guitar, drums, and one original band member who was phenomenal, but the singer....I had to go take a walk as he almost blew out my ear drum!
​
Africa by Toto- I love this song!
Check out this video if you want to see something totally Old school  

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Chicago Festa Italiana

8/15/2015

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Adventures off in the humid summer air of TaylorStreet Festival Italiana festival. Our little Italy is straight down Taylor Street with Italian restaurants, wine bars, and bakeries full of everyone's Italian favorites. The festival took place on this street with a few different stages of music and vendors with smaller portions of the delicious, calorie filled foods. 

Special selections included: the wood fired Margherita Pizza, Toasted Ravioli, Tortellini with Vodka Sauce, Spinach and Ricotta Rice balls, Italian Sausage, Italian ice, cannolis, Italian cookies, Fried Calimari, Calzones, and the list goes on. 
When you go to an Italian festival, one may think there would be a cute Italian guy. While I spotted a couple, they were both under thirty. I am definitely not the cougar type either yikes keep moving boys!
Oh well, the food and music were a much higher priority and the food partially delivered, but the music was fanastic. It consisted of a great group. A singer who played the part of Frank Sinatra quite well. Everyone was up and dancing in the 90 degree heat including the man danced in black, leather mini shorts and a black Harley vest with nothing underneath. He was quite entertaining. 
After I ran into a friend from Willow who is the King of Lemon ice. He gave me a cup and I was in heaven.
It was getting crowded and people were coming to drink, which was my exit. I decided to stop at the famous "Pompeii" to get a chocolate canoli, a regular canoli, and a piece of Tiramisu to go. Was I planning on sharing? Nope, just having a taste test. They all passed the test:) 

 But one may ask, "Where were the zeppolis?" After a walk back and forth a couple times checking out each booth-they were no where to  be seen!
It would be sad to say I came to a festival for zeppolis(fried dough of some sort-delicious), but it's the truth. Perhaps it's a New York thing, but I had no answers from the Italians about this travesty. 

Back to New York one day for the Oreo Zeppolis!

BUT Ferrara bakery did come through with some amazing Pignoli cookies. I worked at the one in New York for about five minutes as they found screaming and insults plus a New York environment to be an effective environment.
The free cookies and deserts were definitely not worth that treatment.

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Welcome!
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French shirt for Italian Festival nice one;)
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When we exited the restaurant people were pushing in against the door an I saw their umbrellas blowing backwards. It was a complete downpour and we decided to take an adventure through it all to the car. We didn't make it far and waited under the tent with fifty other people pushing and shoving and my umbrella was effective until the end of the tent water dumped right on my Mom!
Instead of being concerned about getting wet, I was worried about my two cannolis in the paper bags. Please keep them safe! When do I even come to Little Italy in Chicago-like never!

When it finally stopped raining, we got to the car where we laughed the whole thing off and I opened up my bag to check the cannolis-still intact and ready to eat....Maybe it would have been better for the rain to have them, but Mangia, Mangia like Italy

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Birthday Plans!

8/13/2015

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Approaching the big 31 in a few days and feeling content with the one year addition. It's common for many including myself to reflect on the goals you set for your current age and whether your completion levels matched up. This can be quite dangerous for someone who "wants it all" or is influenced by social norms and pressures set my society. 
Overtime, I have learned to shake off the "shoulds" and bring on the "cans" and "wills." It is not about what you accomplish by your age rather it's about who you are, how you feel, and what you are contributing to your environment. The age obsessed society impacts can influence our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors more than we think.

For instance, last year I was in Panama City, Panama for my birthday. It's a love of mine to be in a different city each year(preferably abroad) for my August Birthday.
This was my trip through Central America with the trip starting in June. When traveling throughout Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Belize-people pay attention to your character, your spirit, and your soul. People would rarely ask how old I was and when they did-I would hesitate and say "I'm turning 30." They would respond, "That's great you have your whole life ahead of you." along with a nice string of compliments after it. 

When I was in the US, I was so stressed about turning "30." Focused on what I don't have or what I'm not rather than who I am and who I have the potential to become.  The gifts I had and have are all stirred up like a twister up in the air, but eventually they will come down and find their place.  It just takes time and as they say, "Time is on our side." Age is just a number and who ever accomplishes everything they want to by their birthday- a robot? 

                    WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS MISS. PRISCILLA?
This weekend is a special one in Chicago as it is summer and there are always multiple things going on including the Air and Water Show(planes flying in the air and in the water).
Chicago is also having it's first "Lobster Fest" this weekend, which really cannot be missed and the Italian Festival and movies, dances, and much more! BUT....
 
Saturday, August 15 is Indian Independence Day, which brings a big celebration for my Indian ministry.
Indian Independence parade on Devon and Western starting at 11:30 

Our children will be on the float along with myself and Dr. Regi Paul with the purpose of prayer for the Indian community and businesses(not solicitation) important to note:
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I AM NOT PART OF ANY OF THAT AND I MENTION BECAUSE MY CHRISTIAN INVOLVEMENT CAN BE MISPERCEIVED.  

Willow Creek Community Church will continue the celebration with Indian food, Bollywood dancing, Mehendi, singers, and a church service at 5:30pm.

When your birthday is on a Monday, the whole weekend is your birthday!

Friday-Italian Festival
Saturday- Indian Indendence parade with my youth, pastors and families AND Willow Creek Indian 1,000 plus event!
Sunday- Church and Concert at the beautiful Northern Island Pavillion
Monday- Intercontinental VIP stay, Afternoon tea at The Peninsula, Jazz and Piano bar
Then turn the birthday mode off until next year or another big event or just a daily time to CELEBRATE  

If I'm not abroad where I would have planned to be.......CUBA
So Go Big or Go Home Kind of Chicago Birthday!
But now I'm "old" and am tired after a couple events-lets see where the wind and my age can take me:) 

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Daily Inspiration: Celebrate YOU

8/12/2015

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In my final Toastmasters speech for this series my speech was titled "Celebrate You.
It started with a birthday song to laugh and smile about the big moments and then highlighted those small moments in life that matter. Instead of sweating the small stuff, we need to celebrate the small stuff that we do.

If you sign up for a yoga class and you can never stand on one foot and one day it finally happens-celebrate!
If you are always five minutes late for work, but on Friday you finally make it there on time-celebrate!  
If you miss the first half of your son's soccer game and you race from work early to get there the next time and do-celebrate!

When we celebrate ourselves with enthusiasm, passion, and give praise- we are reminding ourselves that we are doing something good. As we know, it's common to focus on the bad rather than good. Therefore, let the good have it's moment to shine, smile inside and out, pat yourself on the back, give yourself an award, shout out the word "Yes", get excited, feel alive and be present. Be present and mindful of the moment and how you have done something well-how it feels, what do you hear, who was around you, and what was special about it. When the senses connect with the experience, it gives a greater ability to internalize allowing one to recall this feeling from before and repeat the positive behavior again. Can this moment possibly turn into a memory? A memory that may lead to increasingly positive moments of praise?

It is definitely possible with consistency and acknowledging these small moments that happen within our daily schedules and lives. We don't necessarily need the assistance of a therapist to celebrate what is going right with our behavior and life choices. We just need to have a deeper connection to what is going right and how do we keep that enthusiasm, that passion, that spark, and that celebration of a beautiful behavioral moment. The big moments come and go, but the small moments continue day by day and these are ones we have to tune in, discover our motivation, and desire to do well. 
                                   
                    WHAT  ARE YOU CELEBRATING TODAY?
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Love, Faith, and Charity

8/12/2015

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Should Someone Beg Forgiveness for harboring an impossible love?
Because God's love of us is also impossible. It's never requited at the time and yet he continues to love us. He loved us so much that He sent His only son to explain how Love is the force that moves the sun and all the stars. In one of his letters to the Corinthians(which we were made to learn by heart). Paul says:

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a thinking cymbal.

And we all know why. We often hear what seem to be great ideas to transform the world, but they are words spoken without feeling, empty of Love. However logical and intelligent the might be, they don't touch us.

Paul compares Love with Prophecy, with knowledge of the Mysteries, and with Faith and Charity.

Why is Love More Important than faith?

Because Faith is merely the road that leads us to the Greater Love.

Why is Love more Important than charity?

Because Charity is only one of the manifestations of Love. And the whole is always more important than the part. And Charity is also only one of the many roads that Love uses to bring closer to his fellow man. 

And we all know that there is a lot of Charity out there without Love.
Whenever I interview artists, politicians, social workers, or doctors, students. I am always asking "What is your objective or goal?" Some say: to start a family. Others say to become accomplished in my career. But when I probe deeper and ask again the automatic response is: to make the world a better place.
Those who work for the good of humanity must have love in their hearts. There is nothing more important we can give than the Love reflected in our own lives.

In the letter to the Corinthians, Paul tells us, in three short lines, that Love is made of many elements, like light. We learn at school that if we pick up a prism and allow a ray of light to pass through, that ray will divide into seven colors, those of the rainbow.

Paul shows us the rainbow of Love just as a prism reveals to us the rainbow of light.

And what are those elements? They are virtues we hear about every day and that we can practice in every moment. 

Patience: Love is Patient
Kindness:....and Kind
Generosity: Love does not envy...
Humility:.....or boast; it is not arrogant
Courtesy:....or rude
Unselfishness: It does not insist on it's own way
Good temper: It is not irritable...or resentful
Sincerity: It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth

  
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New York Proves Me Wrong

8/8/2015

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My best friend who grew up in New York says that "New Yorkers are the nicest people in the country." Living there for two years I find this very hard to believe reminiscing on the MTA lady who spit on the window or the people that ran to work with no acknowledgement of human beings. But who am I to know? I am just a Behaviorist who observes, analyzes, studies people and writes about them all the time. 
I am the outsider and my friend is the native who is engaging in the typical "New York pride"(a whole other post).

When it comes to New York, it has a near and dear place in my heart, but when I lived there most of the people, unless they were friends, frequent acquaintances or co-workers, they would not be labeled as "friendly" by my analysis. They also do not hold that reputation, but Chicago definitely holds up to that character as it's part of the culture. It's not realistically part of New York culture to go out of your way for people or be kind when you are extremely busy and barely have time to eat a bagel. You care about yourself, your family, your work, and your routine. That is common for most everyone of course, but New York is in a league of it's own.
There is no competition or vengeful intention, but it's just an honest experience and what is commonly heard.

Does this mean that everyone in New York is unhelpful with an attitude? NO
I do love New Yorkers and there are beautiful, funny, driven, talented, endlessly working people. It still is lacking in the words empathy, manners, and helpful.
Many people behave that way because they are conditioned by their environment or current feeling state i.e. there are a lot of miserable people. 

Now on the contrary, this August visit to NYC impressed me beyond belief.
Bus driver kind as could be, Chelsea art gallery with open door and smile ready to talk, the man on the halal cart, the hotel staff, the woman selling t-shirt, the music composer, the waiter- this was the New York I dreamed about seeing. I also said what if New York had the kindness and sincerity of Chicago? It did!  
Being an analyst, I could observe and CELEBRATE all the small moments of goodness and how people went out of their way. The man spending ten minutes or more in his morning rush to help me with the bike and call customer service. The lady who offered to carry my things through the store? The "extras" that sound materialistic, but they are all about BEHAVIOR.

New York made me like a proud parent and the streets were even cleaner and I didn't smell pollution. Something is going on for the good in that city and I am so happy for them. Even if it was just temporary for God to prove me wrong,
Keep up the great work New York-You left me in "Awww" for many moments and your behavior made my trip sooooooooo much better!
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    Priscilla CL Raj is a Therapist, Missionary, Writer, English Teacher. She is an enthusiast who is passionately purposeful in her life.

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